{bazima.com}

For the next ten days or so, I will be here.

So, see you in September, babies. I love you, I really do. Oh, and when I come back it will be my birthday so if you want to start shopping for presents now, that's cool. I mean, it would probably be a good idea. That's all I'm saying. Because you kind of have a lot of shopping to do. But whatever. Take your time. It's fine if you want to just get everything at the last minute. But I like things wrapped so I can just tear shit open like crazy. Just so you know. So it won't be like you didn't know.

Speaking of doing things like crazy, as I'm typing this at 3am, there are two people sitting on the stoop below my window making out. I think they just went to second. Don't come knocking on my window for the morning-after pill, people. I've only got ten left and I'm bringing them all with me. I'm just tired of having to go get an abortion every single time.