Sit on my Facebook
Who recently joined Facebook? I did. Then I wrote this invite and sent it to my contact list:
"you guys, srsly. i'm v serious-get in here. if u do, it'll be www dot so much awesome and more fun dot com. srsly, it's so best. like cokey's and that song "maps". you CAN has cheezburger 2! kthanksbi! (LOL!!!! LMFAO!!!!!)"
Lest you liken me to a female Wooderson (which, mayhaps would not be wildly unprecedented), hear this: Facebook is not just for kids anymore. ...OR IS IT?
I love the way everyone says, "Ummm, do I really want to join another online social network?" no matter how many online profiles they already have. They could have only one on Friendster, or a total of, like, 12 personal profiles. They could already be on Twitter, Nerve, Consumating, Dodgeball, I'mInLikeWithYou, Tribe, Vox, Upcoming, Upchucking, FuckMyAss, PenisAndVagina, TeabagMe, NotWithoutMyDaughter, or whatever, and they'll still say, "I don't really know if I want to join another social network thing." I really do love it—it's hilarious to me. I said the same thing, trust me.
What's also funny is how the lines of friendship get blurred. Like, "Hmm... I would add her as a friend if she wasn't so fat!" or "He's not in my network because all of his friends are so not cute, and also his foster brother is from China or Nam, or something." World Wide Web of High School Forever!
I was all, "Facebook? Pffft. Fuckbook!" And now I'm all, [whiny voice] "Are you on Facebook?..." to total strangers. When someone says they're on MySpace, I smirk and scoff like suddenly we're starring in Pretty In Pink and they're Molly Ringwald as Andie and I'm James Spader as Steff, which, obviously means that we're both assholes. They say misery loves company. You know what else loves company? Assholes. We're all the same when you get right down to brass tacks, or whatever. We're all assholes. Sometimes it seems like even our assholes have assholes who are assholes.
In the end I guess that's sort of comforting? It's like that bumper sticker that says, "Jesus Love You. But Everyone Else Thinks You're An Asshole." Or something like that. I actually don't know how that's similar, aside from the use of the word 'asshole.' And I have no idea what the hell Jesus thinks he has to do with anything.
So, in conclusion, Nick Denton made me do it. But also? BFFs don't let BFFs join MySpace. I'm just saying.
