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Jake G is sitting 15 feet from me LOOKING FINE AS EVER.

Whiskey, honey, and wigs...

Rock star means slut, right?

Eating pizza in Narnia!

I'm sportin' ho tonight!

I bet it's gonna be a doozy!

Everybody's so fucking in love with their own mythology.

Update: Some meat head called the Indian guy RAGU.

DJ at senior center playing "Endless Love".

How weird would it be to eat dinner in the bathtub? Hypothetically.

Um, I'm trying to break up with my therapist.

Lean Cuisine, here I come.

He always had really great hair.

I'm sorry I can't talk right now, I'm too busy singing the body electric.

If you don't take him, I will.

In other news, I just saw your neighbor's dog humping a shih tzu.

I'm thinking I'll shave. But just legs.

I'm currently in front of the mirror in boxers and a long black wig playing "We Are The World" on the ukulele.

This is the best text message I have ever received.

Hell YEAH! Was his pussy tight?

I can't believe Brooklyn is populated with dorkodawgs.

I'll just be here reading about The L Word.

Currently listening to the unabridged history of Jesus. Best Xmas pageant ever.

No! U no worry! Stupid everyone else!

WAKE UP!!!!!!

I love him in "Hair." When will we be in "Hair"? Because we are really good actors.

I can't believe how much I love her.

Who knew that buying a new journal would lead to alcoholism?

Side of building in Tribeca reads PIPE FITTINGS. Oh, if only.

Please do someone tonight that you'll sort of regret for me!!

Hillel?

Having a LOST marathon because that's what I do.

Best 4am text message in the history of 4am text messages.

My vag lips are sealed.

All i say@ng IS hes a fucking ahole

I think I can stand up now.

3:30am. "Robot Chicken" just gave shout out to Mooney's.

He's not my type but I still might try to do it.

Over him!

Tell her you like her loafs.

Pre-2007 texting on Bazima.com