Neighbors
Three things I just learned about the men who live in my building:
1. My upstairs neighbor who now works as a real-life Gordon Gecko put himself through college at the University of Texas 30 years ago by running a strip club called The Satin Saddle. In the back office of The Satin Saddle he had a Period Chart -- a calendar of all of the strippers' menstrual cycles.
2. The neighbor who lives directly above me is a championship ballroom dancer, and was once one of those guys in the military who held the key to a nuclear missile. He kind of looks like Don Knotts, only alive and with exceptional posture.
3. I suspect the young dude who lives in the apartment next to me has been inside my apartment. The other night he was telling me that Prospect Park will soon be high on wi-fi. "Do you have a laptop?" he asked me. I said, "Yeah. And a desktop." He said, "Yeah. I know you have a desktop. ...I mean... I figured you had a desktop... not... just... a laptop... or something..."
