We're in the boudoir area. Stoned. He's packing for a buisness trip he's taking tomorrow morning. I'm lying on the bed with my laptop looking at Flickr porn.

Him [HOLDING UP A VINTAGE MOTLEY CRUE T-SHIRT THAT HE'S WORN OUT OF THE HOUSE MAYBE TWICE IN A YEAR]: Aw, remember this Motley Crue T-shirt, baby?

Me: Aw, I picked out that Motley Crue T-shirt for my baby and my baby never wears it.

Him: Yes, I do. I always wear it out. And even though it's winter I'm still going to wear it because I can put the other one underneath it and wear it on top.

Me: Mm-hmm.

Him: I wear it out all the time.

Me: No you don't.

Him [SINGING IN A WHISPERY VOICE]: Come on feel the noise... girls, da dada daaa...

Me: That's not even Motley Crue.

Him: Whatever.

previously:
Get it together, Mary

next:
Only People Who Are Really Dumb Live In My Neighborhood And I Am So Totally One Of Them