You've come a long way, baby.
You know those ads that appear at the bottom of this website, on the front page? I noticed the current wave of advertising the other day. Titles spanned such wide-ranging topics as "What Really Attract Men?", "Find A Boyfriend", "Inside Your Boyfriend's Mind", "Get Your Boyfriend Back", and "Ex-Boyfriend Psychology (Proven Tips You Need To Get Your Ex Boyfriend To Fall In Love With You)".
Look down! The ads might be there right now!
I've nothing profound to say about this, really. No surprise there. But I will say: Jeeeeezus! And I'll also say such ads remind me of my best friend during the first half of my high school career. Her name was Jennifer Jenkins. We read Cosmopolitan sometimes and also, naturally, Tiger Beat and Star Hits. For Christmas and birthdays we always made poster collages for one another with giggle-inducing magazine cut-out words and racy phrases spackled in all directions between pictures of Anthony Michael Hall and Lisa Bonet with Elmer's glue. "Get Your Boyfriend Back." "What Really Attracts Men." "Are You A Charlie Girl?" "Eager To Please." "2 Fast 2 Die." "You've Come A Long Way, Baby." "Night Time Is The Right Time." "Demented And Sad, But Social."
The other day, among the would-be-insulting-if-they-weren't-so-silly-how-to-get-a-boyfriend-you-worthless-cow Google ads at the bottom of my screen, I also noticed an advertisement for the band The Last Town Chorus. That ad reminded me of my boyfriend because he totally slept with the lesbian singer before she got "famous" and (regardless) the band is kind of a bore. So, that was annoying.
You know what else is weird? I was at a Rangers game last night at Madison Square Garden. Twat? I know! Weird! Mostly it made me think of Robby Benson as "Nick" in that superior model of a familiar genre, 1978's "Ice Castles". Roger Ebert only gave that movie 2 1/2 stars. But when was he ever a sixteen-year-old mulatto girl from a broken home whose only dream ever was to be an Olympic champion and also to have a perfect boyfriend forever and also long, blond hair that cascaded down her back? Never, I wager. Probably never.
