{bazima.com}

Hold on to your funnily knitted bisexual hats. You're about to read one hot ass interview.

I saw Chris Hampton last week at the Adult Spelling Bee at Freddy's Bar. She creamed everyone in the first round with the word dithyramb. She'd love to take you on at the next bee, and also challenge you to a Knit-Off, which she would surely win as well (see hat in pic). Chris Hampton likes Googlisms -- that game where you do a google search for "so-and-so is" and see what results come up, hilarity ensues, yadda yadda. So, in her honor, a few Chris googlisms by way of intro: Chris is gay. Chris is a jerk. Chris is god. Chris is a social giant. Chris is available for adoption. Chris is a fucked up fuck. Chris is 'full' of sitcoms. Chris is another story altogether...

Blaise K: Chris, remember when we met in 2002 at a party at Choire Sicha's house? It was the first time that a key group of "bloggers" ever met face to face. Do you think that was a defining moment in your online career?

Chris H: Omigod, I SO remember that! I think I'm still walking a little funny from it. I met you, and I met Andy Horwitz, and we all still, like, speak to each other and stuff! And a bunch more people were also there that night, some of whom are still blogging and some of whom aren't. I think, yeah, it was sort of a defining moment, in that I realized that there are were a lot of cool, likeminded people blogging, and I also started thinking about the social/community potential of the whole blog thing after that.

BK: You've created quite a successful monthly talent show with WYSIWYG. What's the history of the show? And why the slightly annoying name? And who's the best performer you've ever had at a WYSIWYG show? AHEM. Is it me?
CH: I had this idea for a show where everyone would tell stories about the worst sex they'd ever had, but I had no idea how to organize such a thing. I'd never even read publicly myself. So I asked Andy [Horwitz], because he's an amazing actor and he also works at a theatre (P.S. 122), and we hatched this plan to do make it an all-blogger thing, and an anti-Valentine's Day thing, and a whole bunch of very cool people (including yo own damn fine self) said yes to doing it. It was a huuuge success, which really took us all by surprise, I think, and P.S. 122 asked us to make it monthly. We named it after an old geek acronym -- "What You See Is What You Get" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wysiwyg) -- and a lot of people like the name, mmmkay beeyotch?

Best performer? Well, there's this one totally hot girl known for hollering at cars on 2nd Avenue about getting her cooter licked (http://www.uffish.com/archives/006735.html). I just LOVE her.

Seriously? You actually have been one of the best, in my view, but it's hard to pick a single best performer -- we've had sooo many really astounding people. And even those who haven't been 100% astounding have all had something cool to offer. I know that sounds very Special Olympics, but it's true.

BK: I hear your high school reunion is coming up in Arkansas and that you're rarin' (rarin'?) to go. I don't think i've ever known anyone who's excited about going to their reunion -- or who actually goes. i've never been to any of mine. Please explain.
CH: Well, my friend Jose and I had been talking about going to Arkansas this summer for a while now anyway, and then the reunion invitation came. I haven't stayed close with anyone from high school and haven't talked with any of these people for years. It's pretty much a given that I'm going to be the biggest freak in the room -- most of my classmates seem to be doing cruddy office jobs, they're almost all married with kids (*shudder*), most of them are reaaaally conservative Christians. But they have it pretty good too, by their own standards. It'll be a two-way zoo and everyone will feel superior. What's not to like?

BK: Describe what it was like growing up in Arkansas in a sentence.

CH: Never underestimate the importance of large amounts of catfish and hairspray.

BK: How does an Arkansas girl end up in New York City? (I imagine Jon Voight in "Midnight Cowboy.")
CH: I had been living in Kansas for 10 years -- moved there shortly after college -- and I'd been trying to figure out how to get to ANY big city on the east coast for a long time. Then a former roomie who was then living in Philadelphia called me and said, "I got accepted to grad school at NYU! Come with me!" So I cashed in my retirement account (I don't want to live that long anyway) and sold everything I owned and worked a second job for several months and just did it. My only regret is that I didn't come here several years earlier and several pounds skinnier.

BK: Watch how there's no segue between this question and the last: Not that you're the spokeswoman for bisexuality or anything, but do you find that people still think bisexuality is a lot of hoo-ha, and that you're really either gay or your not?
CH: Not so much, but I do still find a lot of dykes who just don't trust bisexual women, which has made dating women even more difficult here than it was when I lived in Kansas. At least there it was a smallish town and everyone knew I was all committed to the cause and

everything. You know, my career is in LGBT civil rights activism, I'm culturally very queer, I'm good at cunnilingus, and my relationships with women have been just as dysfunctional as those I've had with men, so what's the fucking problem?!

BK: ow many lives have you had and can you name them?
CH: Hell if I know. I haven't even figured THIS one out yet.

Chris Hampton can be stalked at Uffish.com, and every month at P.S. 122. Check your local listings.