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Bradford Shellhammer has maintained an online presence in fabulosity for almost as long as there's been an internets. He is a a writer, designer, creator and tranny chaser. He's a slave to love and fashion and the karaoke machine. He published a play at the age of 16 and is currently a contributor to Genre Magazine. His work has also appeared in The Baltimore Sun, Abercrombie and Fitch Quarterly, Gay.com, PlanetOut.com, Gloss Magazine, and Odyssey Magazine. He also had the good sense to interview me as well. (Now Joey Arias and Jay McCarroll are in good company.)

If you live here in New York you should know that Bradford will be making it after all. Look out, Fifth Lady. Here comes Young Bradford.

Blaise K: Bradford, How are you?
Bradford Shellhammer:I am quite lovely, actually. For a while now, since my horrific ATV accident, I have been all loopy on prescription drugs. So, everything is just wonderful.

BK: You're moving back to NY from SF in July. To what do we all owe the pleasure, and what kinds of activities do you envision yourself partaking in this summer, and which ones involve me?
BS: I actually am moving back in June! My boyfriend is finishing his MBA now at Berkeley and I will be starting a grad program at Parsons for Fashion Design. We are going to NYC partly because I am going back to school and partly because San Francisco has bored us. I was thinking Los Angeles, he was thinking London. New York seemed to be an easy compromise.

Once back, I really want to reacquaint myself with NYC since I have been gone 4 1/2 years. The thing I totally see us doing is drinking several bottles of wine, playing dress-up, and practicing runway in my apartment. I have some great wigs and corsets!

BK: You're in love. What's the key to a successful relationship?
BS: Honesty. A predictable, but oh so right answer.

BK: What did you do before we had the internets? Are you even old enough
to remember?
BS: Before blogging and email I would spend HOURS on the phone with friends. HOURS. The funny thing is now I absolutely hate the phone. I despise it. As a matter of fact Ben and I just got Blackberries in hopes that all my communication can be done via email or text. I would rather have the time I once spent on the phone doing important things like shopping or cooking or watching Golden Girls.

BK: You're a Gemini. My mother is a Gemini. I'm a Virgo. My dad's a Virgo. My parents don't speak. My mom and I have issues. You see where I'm going with this? Virgo-Gemini isn't a great combo. Do you find this to be true?
BS: J'adore Virgos!

My sister Angela is a Virgo and so is my best friend from kindergarten through high school. That means you and I are going to be best friends. It is written in the stars.

BK: How do you maintain such a positive, all-loving attitude? Don't you think some people really suck and not in a fun way? (Feel free to name names.)

BS: I think the key to a positive, all-loving attitude is the ability to laugh at oneself. If you are constantly laughing at yourself it comes across in all your interactions. Getting angry is wasted energy and emotion. I would rather channel that into a karaoke performance or a love letter.

Oh, I certainly think some people suck. But I do strive to see the good in everybody. I live my life thinking it is a TV show. Seriously. And everyone that comes into my life is thus a character. Sometimes on TV you love the bad characters as much as the good! So people who bug the shit out of me also feed something, they make me even more interested in living. At the end of the day I know I am the star. People in supporting roles may sometimes steal a scene, but they will never be billed above me. That is how I can still smile at the losers in this world.

If I must names names, Gay Republicans and people who do not tip well are high on my list of those who suck.

BK: What's going on in your life in 2010? (You can see into the future because you are so loving that god granted you the ability and he also said he really doesn't care whether you're gay or not.)
BS: Easy question. I will be creative director of my own label and Ben will be the brains behind our media empire. We will spend everyday together working and making money and then entertaining or relaxing at night. Think Kate Spade or Betsey Johnson when wondering about the clothes I want to design. I want to have a collective of creative people I call upon: writers, designers, trannies, photographers, singers. Basically, I want t o be a gang leader. I also want to start a print Magazine, open a restaurant, start a band. Jesus.

I will be married. I have plans for a "Big Top" wedding. Ben hates that idea, but life is about compromise. Can you imagine the midgets and jugglers?

And in 2010 I will be on the internets. God knows, I still won't want to talk on the phone.

That's Mizz Shellhammer to you.