The Whore Report
I don't know how I managed to go out again Friday night after Thursday night's insanity, having barely slept, and starting the all day work day unshowered and with a hangover. Back in college I used to be able to party four nights a week. Now, eight years after I graduated I find if I stay out late three, maybe even two, nights in a row I have to spend at least that much time convalescing at home in front of the television. If that's not enough to make one feel old. Still, I managed to get my shit together, come back to Brooklyn after work, shower, huss up, and head back out into the city to meet The Lumberjack for drinks at Beauty Bar.
The Lumberjack is all about the sex. A self-described porn star who moonlights as a graphic designer, he sat flirtatiously close to me all evening. Beauty Bar bartenders tend to go heavy on the alcohol when mixing up the drinks, so by my third Jack & Ginger I was nearly rocked. Still somehow, The Lumberjack failed to get my juices flowing. I know I will end up making it, or at least making out with a date when by the second drink I’m feeling super saucy and hot in the thighs. But this date wasn't doing it for me. Two hours after we hit the bar, I told him as much.
That was when he leaned in for a kiss, knowing that he wouldn't have the chance later, or maybe he was hoping that he would change my mind. Wanting to show my appreciation and never one to enjoy rejecting someone, I gave him my best kiss back. When he went to the little boy's room before we left, I grabbed my cell phone with the quickness and dialed up My Gay Boyfriend. He had just gotten home and was getting in the bed when I called.
"How’s your date going?" he asked.
"I’m coming over," I said.
A yellow taxi got me to My Gay Boyfriend's place in less than seven minutes so I gave the cabbie a fat tip. I walked in the apartment door, which had been left open, and headed straight for the bedroom. My Gay Boyfriend was oddly not a big fan of getting blowjobs, as revealed to me a few weeks ago. Safe to say, he's a fan of them now.
