Me: My other cat had a poo problem. She'd...

Him: Poop?

Me: Oh, I can't tell this story.

Him: Afraid you'll offend my sensitive nature?

Me: Well...I don't know what it was, but often she'd come out of the litter box prematurely...or without having cleaned up after herself...

Him: Hm.

Me: And there would be a piece of poo literally hanging out...and she would just walk around the apartment like "doo-do-do-do-do" and pretend like it wasn't there.

Him: Hahahahahaahhahahahahhahahahahahah

Me: I'd have to chase her around the apartment with a wet paper towel trying to wipe her ass...

Him: Hahahahahaha

Me: And she knew...She'd have her ears pressed back, running around with poo hanging out, like it was a game. And i'd be chasing her, laughing hysterically.

Him: Kind of a reverse Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

Me: I'd even try to reason with her..."Maggie, I have to wipe the poo." I'd walk up to her slowly, quietly with the paper towel, but she'd see me heading for her heinie and she'd take off running.

Him: Oh no. Hee hee hee hee

Me: Sometimes I'd be heading over to wipe the poo and she'd threaten to sit her ass right down where she was and I'd scream...

Him: Hahahahaha

Me: Chasing would ensue, etc, etc.

Him: Oh my god.

Me: She was so funny. She didn't really like to wipe the poo so much, though.

Him: That's hilarious.

Me: Yeah. It was.

Him: I have tears.

Me: My stomach hurts from laughing.

Him: What a great poop story.

Me: I love a good poo story.

Him: This is the sexiest talk.

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All Our Wounds Forgiven

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Am I not your girl?