Me: Hello?

Mom: Hi!

Me: Hi?

Mom: Did you do your thingy last night?

Me: What? What thingy?

Mom: Your thingy. You know. You didn't write anything new, did you?

Me: Um, no. Not last night.

Mom: [disapproving] Hm.

Me: Is that why you're calling me?

Mom: Well, yes...

Me: Um....

Mom: Why didn't you write anything last night?

Me: [fumbling to get my winter coat on] Um...Why didn't I write anything...

Mom: You have a responsibility to your fans.

Me: I think you mean fan, singular, don't you?

Mom: Well, fine. You have a responsibility to your one fan. If you're not going to write something everyday, you should let me know so I don't log on and have to log back off.

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Slap Me With Your Subpeona

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Talk Of The Town