You know it's Monday when...
1. You’re already a half-hour late for work when the subway you're on gets held in the station due to a "sick passenger."
2. The hallway outside your office smells like ass.
3. You realize you're pissy just because you had sex over the weekend and know you aren't going to have it again tonight.
4. That bitch inside your voice mail says "you have no new messages" and then hangs up on you.
5. You’re writing a message to a cute boy you hardly know about being someone who likes to cook and as soon as you hit the "send" button you're paralyzed with the irrational fear that instead of writing "cook", you've typed "cock."
